Cubicle Hermit

Forwarded email humor, courtesy of Fester:

Zen Sarcasms
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn , so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed…… Skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a women - Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Along those lines:
“If someone asks you if you’re a God, you say *yes*. If someone asks you if you’re Sarah Connor, you say *no*.”

InternetSexStud Magazine

(it’s a joke, people.)

Funny, although I’m not sure the analogy makes sense (then again, I’m not sure any of the Ninja stuff makes sense. But it’s funny.)

Via OpenLeft, where there is very nice article by the guy behind AskANinja.com to go with the video clip.

PS, yeah I know too much YouTube lately, not nearly enough writing. What can ya do?

One of my favorite (mostly-)80s’ bands, advertising one of my favorite modes of transportation. The execution: so uncool, it’s cool.

Go have a look.

US States Renamed For Countries With Similar GDPs

Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is a convenient way of measuring and comparing the size of national economies. Annual GDP represents the market value of all goods and services produced within a country in a year. Put differently:

GDP = consumption + investment + government spending + (exports – imports)

Although the economies of countries like China and India are growing at an incredible rate, the US remains the nation with the highest GDP in the world – and by far: US GDP is projected to be $13,22 trillion (or $13.220 billion) in 2007, according to this source. That’s almost as much as the economies of the next four (Japan, Germany, China, UK) combined.

The creator of this map has had the interesting idea to break down that gigantic US GDP into the GDPs of individual states, and compare those to other countries’ GDP.

No, not metaphorical … this time it’s literal, via Slashdot:

An anonymous reader writes
“This is a cool redistricting game that was launched out of the capitol building in Washington DC last week. It was created by the USC Game Innovation Lab and has been getting lots of press. It’s about time someone took on a tough issue like redistricting reform using the power of the internet.”
It’s crazy that gerrymandering is actually good fodder for a video game.

Worth checking out.

Also of note, lately:
1) Not much here, sorry.
2) I’m starting a class.
3) I’m not traveling anywhere soon, except back east for a family friend’s wedding. Bummer.
4) Today’s big news story seems to have been Mayor Bloomberg leaving the Republican party. Does anyone else think he and Lieberman deserve each other?

At lunch today, we were discussing food items abd I came up with an outline for what is to my own taste the grossest recipe ever, and yet something that many people would happily eat. As such, without further ado:
Shellfish salad (mayonaise-based) with eggplant and mushroom

If you really want to gross me out, somehow add organ meats to it but it’s hard to imagine anyone eating it then.

Google’s 2007 April Fools joke: Introducing Gmail Paper
Make sure to click on “Learn more about Gmail Paper”

Go check out “http://www.getafirstlife.com/“.

Via Russ on the [Geeks] list at work.

See also the original post Second Life: a pet rock for the new millenium.

Ask a Ninja Omnideuce

Link and quote above via Eric at work, in response to lunch conversation.

Also see Crab vs. Pipe and the classic Infamous Exploding Whale

Too strange not to post:
Ian’s Shoelace Site

Fun, fashion & science in this quirky site about shoelaces. Whether you want to learn to lace shoes, tie shoelaces, stop shoelaces from coming undone, calculate shoelace lengths or even repair aglets, Ian’s Shoelace Site has the answer!

First, saw Clerks 2 tonight. Best movie… ev… well, not quite, but certainly best comedy in quite a while and a truly fitting finale to the New Jersey saga.

Second, file under unclassifiable 100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband; sad, but very funny.

Lastly, via RASSF, on MSNBC we get: Outer-space sex carries complications

Experts say new devices and data would be needed to hit the zero-G-spot

LAS VEGAS - Having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy — but experts say that there would be definite downsides as well.

etc… it mentions briefly sex during Zero-G flights (such as on the “Vomit Comet”) - which has been done in an adult movie, Private’s The Uranus Experiment

And that’s all for today.