Category Archives: General Weirdness

I (heart) weird government publications

Obliterating Animal Carcasses With Explosives

There are times when it is important to remove or obliterate an animal carcass from locations such as recreation areas where a carcass might attract bears, at a popular picnic area where the public might object, or along the side of roads or trails. Large animal carcasses can be particularly difficult to remove, especially if they are located below a steep cut slope or in remote areas.

Explosives have successfully been used by qualified blasters to partially or totally obliterate large animal carcasses (horses, mules, moose, etc.). It is important to consider location, time of year, and size of the carcass when selecting the quantity and type of explosive to accomplish the obliteration task. Consult a qualified blaster when explosives are to be used.

The following examples illustrate partial obliteration (dispersion) for a horse that weighs about 1,100 pounds (453.6 kilograms). In the first example, urgency is not a factor. Perhaps a few days are expected before the public is to visit the area, or perhaps bears will not be attracted to the carcass. In any case, in this example, dispersion is acceptable. [Figure 1]
[…]
In situations where total animal obliteration is necessary, it is advisable to double the amount of explosives used in the first two examples. Use 20 pounds (9 kilograms) on top of and 20 pounds (9 kilograms) underneath the carcass, depending on the type of explosives used. Total obliteration might be preferred in situations where the public is expected in the area the next day, or where bears are particularly prolific.

via FlyerTalk (OMNI, so may not be publicly accessible?)

Flyertalk really needs a “Like” button…

In reply to: Does the $20 or $50 trick (bribe) work for upgrades

Hello MR CUSO
I represent certain AMERICAN AIRLINES INTEREST IN AFRICA. As a SENIOR ASSISTANT CHAIRMAN to CHIEF ELECTED OFFICIAL GERARD ARPEY I have recently been promoted to start NEW ROUTES TO LAGOS NIGERIA. Due to systems malfunctions during computer installation, I am able to UPGRADE YOU TO LIFETIME EXECUTIVE PLATINUM STATUS. We will require ENGINEERS to manipulate the new mainframe requiring an initial deposit to defray costs. in the future, you can purchase the status for anyone at the low price of $2500 UNITED STATES DOLLARS. Please do not let this opportunity be lost..

Dark Lord of the Petulant?

What is Darth Vader’s diagnosis?

The manipulations of Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader in the “Star Wars” saga, have long been ascribed to the Dark Side of the Force. Now, psychiatrists suggests that the actions of the Jedi Knight could be used in teaching about a real-life mental illness.

A letter to the editor in the journal Psychiatry Research explores just what is wrong with Vader. French researchers posit that Vader exhibits six out of the nine criteria for borderline personality disorder. Unstable moods, interpersonal relationships, and behaviors are all characteristics of this condition, according to the National Institutes of Mental Health. It affects 2 percent of adults, mostly young women.

via Yahoo Movies


Addendum: I’m clearly not blogging enough when I wrote it as [blockquote] on the first pass…

Spain, not Japan? Seriously?

Apparently There Is A Meat Vending Machine In Spain

Spain is a magical place. How do we know this? Because they apparently have a meat vending machine.

Said vending machine is located outside a 100-year-old butcher shop and allows customers to buy meat around the clock. The vending machine features meats, sausages, sandwiches and other goods on a seasonally rotating basis.

3 Men In A Boat, sort of…

Via Slashdot

Jack Watkins, 25, and engineers Chris Hayes, 24, and Dave Sibley, 25, have succeeded in crossing Italy’s Lake Garda in a huge, inflated bouncy castle. “Great Britain has such a great tradition as a seafaring nation and we really feel we have played no role at all in adding to this,” admitted intrepid waterman Hayes. “That said, it was possibly the most fun we have ever had and we really never believed this most frivolous of dreams would ever be realized.”

This demands an American attempt to do the same. Lake Mead, anyone?

I’ve GOT to visit Estonia…

Kidding, although it does sound like an interesting place to visit for other reasons than the translation of “twelve months.”

In other news, I’ve been super-lax about updating this (even ignoring the 3+ weeks when there was no server running at all.) We’re finally sorta-kinda moved in. Some house-related posts coming up one of these

Meta-phishing.

Here’s a phishing email I received:

Important:
You’re getting this letter in connection with new directions issued by U.S. Treasury Department. The directions concern U.S. Federal Wire online payments.

On January 26, 2009 a large-scaled phishing attack started and has been still lasting. A great number of banks and credit unions is affected by this attack and quantity of illegal wire transfers has reached an extremely high level.

U.S. Treasury Department, Federal Reserve and Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) in common worked out a complex of immediate actions for the highest possible reduction of fraudulent operations. We regret to inform you that definite restrictions will be applied to all Federal Wire transfers from February 6 till February 13.

Here you can get more detailed information regarding the affected banks and U.S. Treasury Department restrictions:
(URL Redacted, for obvious reasons)

Yes, it’s a phishing email pretending to be a warning about phishing. Good grief!

Zen Sarcasm

Forwarded email humor, courtesy of Fester:

Zen Sarcasms
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn , so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed…… Skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a women – Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Along those lines:
“If someone asks you if you’re a God, you say *yes*. If someone asks you if you’re Sarah Connor, you say *no*.”