May 18 2010
Too good not to share, too long for facebook, not good enough to spam everyone with… that’s exactly what this blog is for.
Assume that a huge “planet killer” asteroid on a direct collision course with the earth has been spotted – nine months before its projected impact. President Barack Obama proposes an emergency program, in conjunction with the Russians, to knock the asteroid off course before it destroys our planet. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/eu_russia_asteroid_encounter
The Republicans in the Senate promptly mount a filibuster against the enabling legislation, thereby delaying action, leading to the destruction of the planet and to the end of all human life.
Now for the top 10 reasons why the GOP let the world be destroyed:
10. Didn’t want to offend teabaggers who believed Obama was an alien born on the asteroid.
9. Furious over Obama’s refusal to declare the asteroid’s approach an act of terrorism and then bomb Iran in response.
8. Believed tax cuts for the rich would be a more effective response.
7. Just trying to prevent another big tax and spend government program.
8. Said, “Hey, if the asteroid hits in 2010, it will be during the one year gap when there is no inheritance tax, which means we’ll all avoid the ‘death tax!’”
7. Trying to save the world sounded like more of that sissy environmentalism crap.
6. Preferred private enterprise based solutions like corporate sales of anti-asteroid ointment.
5. Refused to accept the scientific consensus on the asteroid’s trajectory until they had absolute proof in the form of the earth’s destruction.
4. Said, “There were no asteroid attacks during Bush’s term. So it’s Obama’s fault and why should we bail him out?”
3. Insurance lobby wanted action delayed until they’d sold more “asteroid policies” (payable only in the event everyone on the planet was killed in an asteroid impact and if claim was then promptly made thereafter).
2. Wouldn’t support Obama’s proposal because the asteroid protection would have applied to illegal aliens as well as U. S. citizens.
And the number one reason why the GOP let the world be destroyed . . .
1. Allowing Obama to save the world could have helped the Democrats in the 2010 and 2012 elections and even the apocalypse was better than that!
Note: If you look closely, you’ll see that there are actually 12, not 10, reasons given. Somehow, when it comes to right-wing lunacy, 10 just isn’t enough.
disclaimer: not original, collected on the internets tubes