Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

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Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

November 20 (Bloomberg) — The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said.

“You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali.

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: “We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.”

Shandu added, “We don’t call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”

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President Obama

Congratulations to the new President Elect.

I hope that we’ll be able to heal the divide in this country, but at the same time it’s time to start holding the Democratic party’s feet to the fire on progressive issues – if Bush could claim a mandate after the squeaker in 2004, this is a landslide, and we should take advantage of it.

My two surprises so far on the results.

1) PA called early, had figured Obama would probably get it but to have it close instantly was a huge surprise.
2) VA not called early. I figured it was the bellwether for Obama, and at this rate he may make it to 270 without VA called yet.

8:02pm Pacific time – MSNBC called the national election for Obama after CA, HI, OR, and WA closed. A little skeptical of how early the PA and OH polls closed earlier, but too many outstanding he could still win.

It’s a proud day to be an American.

8:19pm – McCain’s concession speech, showing quite a bit of class so far.

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